WTFucked Vegan Scramble

I apologize for any kind of hiatus, I worked well over 200 hours in 2 weeks – not that I have some massive reader base to appease, but for what its worth, I’m back with a vegetarian vengeance.

This is something I threw together around 1:30 am after a crazed run to Ralphs with some fellow foodies. Its Vegan, so relatively healthy, but I can’t vouch specifically for caloric content, given my status as resident fatcat.

Damn skippy, bitches

The Pieces

Prep Time: 15 mins

Cook Time: 20 mins

2 large russet potatoes

2 large zucchini’s (is that even the proper plural?)

2 jalapenos

1 red onion

2 limes

1 bunch fresh cilantro

1 red bell pepper

1 orange bell pepper

A few slices sprouted vegan bread for toast

The Puzzle

1. Break down your jalapenos. To do this easily:

  • Split the jalapeno from stem to tip
  • Drag a teaspoon down the center, removing the ribs and seeds
  • Slice lengthwise, evenly
  • Turn sideways and dice into a brunoise

2. Dice your onion. To do this:

  • Slice in half, from stem to stem
  • Take each half and slice it into half again.
  • Lay the half you are breaking down flat on the board and slice 90% of the way into it laterally
  • Spaced a quarter of an inch apart slice downwards, cutting towards the root, but again not all the way – we need that root to hold the onion together
  • Now slice about a quarter of an inch apart parallel to the root
  • Notice your awesome dice! (pictures to follow on the technique page)

3. Roughly chop up some cilantro

4. Combine this with the onion and jalapeno – squeeze both limes over the top of this mixture, and set in the fridge for at least 30 mins

5. While that shit marinates, peel your potatoes

6. Using the largest side of a cheese grater, grate both the potatoes and zucchini over some folded up paper towels. This will need to drain for a while.

7. Julienne your bell peppers

8. Heat a nonstick skillet on high, and throw your onion mixture (sans oil) in there. Use the lime juice to saute until lightly browned. Remove and set aside.

9. Now the interesting part – combine your  potato/zucchini mixture with the bell peppers. The natural moisture of the potatoes/zucchini, despite them being dried, should allow you to form very loose patties (think diner hashbrowns). Form at least 2 of these quasi burgers and get them into your still warm pan.

10. Once fully browned on both sides, remove and top with the now cooled onion mixture.

Healthy and filling. This shit’s the tits, even if my recipe sucks.

And now I present this funny baby.

Ha. Funny baby.

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