CHEESE, or Food Porn 101


To quote the equally depraved John Waters:

“Without obsession, life is nothing.”

On the other hand, Norman Mailer:

“Obsession is the single most wasteful human activity, because with an obsession you keep coming back and back and back to the same question and never get an answer”

Either way, its a word I use a lot, something I myself have often fought with describing. At first, when I decided to rant on the subject of my darkest, unhealthiest obsession I wasn’t sure quite where to begin.

After some though the obvious became more so – where better than the beginning?

obsession begins somewhere. For me it began (truly) at my first regional italian cooking course in Southern California. My previous exposure to cheese had been minimal, a condiment used, albeit liberally, in many dishes I’d had and cooked. Very rarely had I eaten the stuff on its own, so for me I didn’t see it in the same light.

Now here I was, 21 and attempting to turn my couch ridden most likely alcoholic ass into something presentable, cultured, maybe even…worldly? A foolish endeavor I realize now, yet at least it earned me a little more knowledge than i was previously possessed of, and gave me an opportunity to expand my mind.

At the start of each class the teacher would present us with an assortment of cheese, olives, and olive oil.

Thick mozzarella sack...creamy filling... so dirty, so delicious

What popped my cherry, opened my mind and blew down all previous inhibitions?


Sweet, savory, creamy, fucking orgasmically brilliant – a simple cheese at best. But still, it birthed my obsession with all things cheese. From there it was a downward spiral, filled with dark alleys and cheese filled trench coats, pushers hawking their villainous wares to the horribly depraved addicts, desperate for that next creamy fix.

Well…ok, perhaps not that severe.

I’d had Brie. I’d had Gouda. I’d had Cheddar. I thought I knew cheese.

Fuck me, was I ever wrong. As soon as the proverbial levees broke, I began reaching ever outwards, looking for stranger, more bizarre cheese, for those as like minded as me.

I began to learn more about cheese (wikipedia for starters) and the process behind making this soft gem. So many steps!

Shortly thereafter I was introduced to Andrew’s Cheese shop, and a like minded individual who’s obsession far exceeded my own.

What he showed me, I lack the words to describe. So let some pics highlight my favorite cheese, and help guide you down the rabbit hole, towards the dark side of cheese…