Hot delicious mess

Before we get started, know this – the idea came from a damn good friend of mine, Jacob, and was prepared at 1 am while doing shots – so my measurements are most definitely off a bit.

Still, for something this haphazard, that shouldn’t matter. We grabbed the random shit floating around my apt, combined it with a few things he’d brought, and before our bleary eyes realized it we’d made a masterpiece.

The Pieces

Prep Time:10 mins

Cook Time: 45 mins – 1 hour

• 1 16 oz can whole tomatoes, seeded (save a bit of juice)

• Most of a 16 oz bag of shredded cheddar and mozzarella cheese

• 1/2 a stick of salted butter

• 3 yukon gold potatoes, cubed

• 1 bigass sweet potato, cubed

• 1 large brown onion, diced

• 1 12 oz can of sweet peas, drained

• 4 eggs, beaten

• paprika

• cayenne

• fresh cracked black pepper

• some oregano (i think?)

The Puzzle

0. Preheat oven to 375

1. Chop time: dice your peeled potatoes and onion.

2. Throw the onion into a glass casserole dish on high heat, and sweat until barely translucent. Remove the pan from the heat, and take the onions out (adding them in later)

3. Put your diced potatoes in the pan with the onion oil, and get that in the oven for 15 minutes

4. Take 3-4 shots of cheap whiskey

5. Drain and seed your tomatoes. Roughly chop and add to the potatoes after the 15 mins is up.

6. Add your reserve tomato juice and peas, and let cook for approx 45 minutes or until the potatoes are just barely fork tender

7. Mix beaten eggs with some cheese and the remaining spice you feel like adding- at least pepper and cayenee.

8. Pour this over the top and mix into the casserole dish

9. Copiously cover with cheese

10. Cook until nicely browned on top

11. Bask in your friends adoration at your pure fucking awesome skill

Bottle of rum on the right, beer on the left...

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Blasphemous Bruschetta

First recipe – and a goddamn good one at that. I’ve seen a lot of different recipes for what could possibly be my favorite snack,  but none quite so awesome as mine.

Ok…I might be pumping this up a little. This is really a poor mans quick bruschetta fix that ends up tasting damn decent. Give it a shot, let me know what you think.

The Pieces

Prep time: 10 mins if you can chop fast

Cook time: 10 mins for the garlic/bread, and at least another 30 for the tomato mixture to marinate

• 8 oz fresh mozzarella – if you need to settle, try picking up some of this.

• 1 fresh baguette

• 1 16oz can diced roma tomatoes, drained. Make sure they’re packed in water, no salt added.

• 2 full garlic bulbs

• 1 bunch fresh Basil

• 4 tbsps extra virgin olive oil

• 2 tbsps aged balsamic vinegar

• 1 tbsp red wine vinegar

• salt
• pepper
• cayenne pepper

Its blurry...I know. iPhone camera.

Alright, now before we begin I want to clear something up – the term bruschetta doesn’t actually reference the topping. This is a pretty common misconception, but the reality is that bruschetta is the bread, which is grilled, oiled and rubbed with garlic.

The Puzzle

1. Preheat the oven to 375.

2. Take one bulb of garlic and slice off the tops. Place this in tinfoil with the sides crimped, and drizzle 1 tbsp of EVOO in the bulb.

3. Place this in the stove to roast until golden brown

4. Chop time – take your basil leaves, stack ’em, roll ’em, and slice. This trick is called a chiffonade. From here dicing should be much easier, and provide a more standard size.

5. While waiting for your garlic to roast, pop open that can of tomatoes and plop them into a fine sieve (or strainer) to get the extra juice out.

6. Grab your baguette and slice pieces approximately 1/4 inch thick, on the bias. Brush each slice with a little olive oil and set aside.

7. Throw the olive oil brushed baguette onto a grill – if you do not have one, use the preheated oven and toast til golden brown.

NOTE: I made this recently, and as I lacked a baking sheet where I was cooking, I actually used a saute pan, with great results! A much deeper flavor.

My dear friend Laura basks in the golden brown glory of the bread. Never hurts to snap some pics of a few hot ladies, yes?

8. Once the bread is toasted/grilled, its important you rub each bread piece with garlic as soon as its cool enough.

9. By this time your garlic should be roasted – take it out of the foil and mince finely. This is the part I hate the most, as much as I love garlic, since invariably my fingers smell for hours later…use some gloves, or rinse your hands with lemon juice after, to prevent this.

Almost done...although the garlic isn't as golden as I'd like.

10. Time to combine…in a large mixing bowl add the garlic, basil, tomatoes, remaining EVOO and all the vinegars. Two pinches each of salt, pepper, and cayenne. Toss to combine.

11. Set this in the fridge for at least a half an hour

12. Slice your mozzarella ball in half, then cut into thin strips

And your done! When eating, spoon a hefty amount of the tomato mixture onto a piece of bruschetta, top with mozzarella, and enjoy!.