Hot delicious mess

Before we get started, know this – the idea came from a damn good friend of mine, Jacob, and was prepared at 1 am while doing shots – so my measurements are most definitely off a bit.

Still, for something this haphazard, that shouldn’t matter. We grabbed the random shit floating around my apt, combined it with a few things he’d brought, and before our bleary eyes realized it we’d made a masterpiece.

The Pieces

Prep Time:10 mins

Cook Time: 45 mins – 1 hour

  • 1 16 oz can whole tomatoes, seeded (save a bit of juice)
  • Most of a 16 oz bag of shredded cheddar and mozzarella cheese
  • 1/2 a stick of salted butter
  • 3 yukon gold potatoes, cubed
  • 1 bigass sweet potato, cubed
  • 1 large brown onion, diced
  • 1 12 oz can of sweet peas, drained
  • 4 eggs, beaten
  • paprika
  • cayenne
  • fresh cracked black pepper
  • some oregano (i think?)

The Puzzle

0. Preheat oven to 375

1. Chop time: dice your peeled potatoes and onion.

2. Throw the onion into a glass casserole dish on high heat, and sweat until barely translucent. Remove the pan from the heat, and take the onions out (adding them in later)

3. Put your diced potatoes in the pan with the onion oil, and get that in the oven for 15 minutes

4. Take 3-4 shots of cheap whiskey

5. Drain and seed your tomatoes. Roughly chop and add to the potatoes after the 15 mins is up.

6. Add your reserve tomato juice and peas, and let cook for approx 45 minutes or until the potatoes are just barely fork tender

7. Mix beaten eggs with some cheese and the remaining spice you feel like adding- at least pepper and cayenee.

8. Pour this over the top and mix into the casserole dish

9. Copiously cover with cheese

10. Cook until nicely browned on top

11. Bask in your friends adoration at your pure fucking awesome skill

Bottle of rum on the right, beer on the left...


Drunk Taters

On the left, my Drunk Taters - on the right, vegan pot pie

The internet is indeed lucky today.

I’m releasing my hands down best fucking potato recipe – and the best part is how crazy simple it is.

I call ’em drunk simply because that is USUALLY my state of mind when making them. Its easy cheesy drunk eats.

The Pieces

Prep Time: 10 mins choppin taters

Cook Time: 45 mins – 1 hour

  • 2 lbs Yukon Gold potatoes (or any white potato)
  • 2 lbs sweet potatoes
  • Shitload of tarragon
  • 8 oz heavy cream
  • 8 oz gorgonzola or bleu cheese
  • thats IT

The Puzzle

0. Preheat your oven to 350

1. Peel and slice all your potatoes thin

2. Throw ’em in a baking dish

Aww...ain't they pretty...

3. Dust liberally with Tarragon

4. Add cream and cheese, mix

Notice my Shun Knife on the board in the back...mmm hmmm

5. Throw the dish in the oven, covered with tin foil, for 45 minutes

6. Remove the covering, cook until really damn fork tender, and crispy on top.

I know you love my dirty stove top

If you don’t LOVE these potatoes –

Spicy Stew – for that Sunday afternoon hangover

My favorite thing about the weekends, besides the different shenanigans I often find myself involved in, is actually the recovery period – spending so much time in the fetal position shaking uncontrollably, sucking down huge portions of water, I’ve learned to cope quite well.

Even going so far as enjoying it – setting up a process of detoxification where I consume huge amounts of liquid, veggies, go for a run/hike, etc.

So – what follows is a guideline. Use whatever you like – i’ve thrown as many as 13-15 veggies into this pot at a time. Its more about the seasonings and the cooking time that makes this an instant hangover cure.

I’d avoid cooking this if you are looking for a quick meal. As tasty as this is, we’re talking 2 1/2 to 3 hours cook time (I spent the time curled up on the couch, my 30 proof sweat soaking my snuggie). I highly suggest you have something else to occupy your time while this shit simmers.

The Pieces

Prep Time: About 20 minutes

Cook Time: 2 1/2 to 3 hours

  • 1 quart veggie stock, low to no sodium preferred
  • 1 1/2 cups diced white onion
  • 1 cup celery, peeled and chopped
  • 2 cups carrots, peeled and chopped
  • 1 cup green beans, stemmed and cut in thirds
  • 1 bunch kale, roughly chopped
  • 1 jalapeno, chopped (leave the seeds)
  • 2 cans diced tomatoes, drained
  • 2 lbs small red potatoes, washed damn well
  • 3 bay leaves
  • 2 tsp smoked paprika
  • 2 tsp cayenne pepper
  • salt to taste
  • pepper to taste
  • 1 tbsp red wine vinegar
  • 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
  • 4 tbsps balsamic vinegar
  • 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
  • 3 cups brown rice
  • Some tasty soft bread, like a french roll or Challah

The Puzzle

1. Heat up your stew pot with the oil (heres a tip – to tell if the oils hot without checking the sizzle, turn your pan to the side. If it shimmers like the surface of water, its good to go)

2. Once the oil’s good and hot, add your onion, carrots, celery and spices. As soon as that shit hits the pan, drop the heat to medium and sweat those veggies til the onion is translucent.

3. Add the rest of your veggies, the veggie stock and bay leaves. Fill with water til everythings covered.

4. Bring to a simmer, not a boil, and cover.

5. Let sit for one hour – then, add your apple cider and red wine vinegars, and tomatoes.

6. After another 30 mins throw the balsamic in there, and let simmer for another hour uncovered.

7. In the mean time, cook your rice separately

8. Once the potatoes are super tender, and the sauce isn’t too bitter, serve over rice with bread.

9. After one bowl, notice your memories of the night before begin to return…

Some variation of this is usually bubbling away on my stove every Sunday. A helluva tradition I recommend you try.